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Friday, October 28, 2011

Darkens And Light

She took a little step toward the light that was beaming at her from so far away. Darkness is all she has known for so long. Scared to move, but drawn like a moth to the bright flame she sees.

It beckoned, calling itself love, calling out to her.

Pulled there, almost against her will. Pulled to Become something more. Something deep inside her has been crying out for change for so long. The voice stifled, pushed down, pushed away so she could exist in peace.

Close as she could get. The light was so warm, so inviting. She felt so ugly there, all of her scars, all of her flaws exposed. The source of the light smiled, told her they made her beautiful. Told her that she was worth something. Made her flaws and inadequacies seem like assets. The Flower blossomed under the warm rays. All of the things she was scared of melted away, and she felt safe again. In his presence, she felt peace. Just being around him made the swirling currents of her life calm down.

Confusion tugged at her. She had a life at home. And now, thoughts of a new life with him. A promise. A possibility. She opened herself up to that love. Drank it in. Held it close. Ran to him and found healing and contentment.

There is a funny thing about light though. Sometimes it is warm and inviting. Beautiful and mesmerizing. But after that darkness, the light can blind.

She overlooked things. Overlooked how his light was shining in two places. He loves. He can't help that any more than she can. She pretended that his words were true. That he loved her the most. That he would choose her in the end.

But then, something horrible happened.

The light began to move away.

Closer to the Other in his life. She had no right to the light, it belonged to the Other. But now that she knows it, she needs it. Now that darkness that was so familiar to her before he came into her life is a cold, scary place.

He reassures her. Tells her that he is shining for her still. Still gives her that peace and contentment. But it's muted. There is a shadow of something bigger across him now.  And she feels alone again. She was alone before, but it was all she knew. Now she's been shown a better way, and the existence that she had before is not enough for her. So cold here. So dark. So empty.

She shivers.

And waits.

Knowing that she's stupid to hope.

But wishing more than anything that the light would turn back to her again. 

Thanks for sharing flowersinherhair

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